[Red Dwarf - fic] A Spinning Fan - Part 04 - WIP (discontinued)

Rimmer/Lister, PG.
One day Lister woke up in a psychiatric ward and a doctor told him it was all a dream brought on by excessive drinking.
Written July 3, 2006 by Zekkass.

---

Dwayne was up and about the second not-Kryten left the room. He hopped off the bunk and swirled over to Lister’s bunk. “Hey! You! New guy! What did you do to doctor-dude?”

“You didn’t hear?” Huh. Dwayne must not have the Cat’s hearing in this universe, Lister mused. That made sense, but it still was creepy. Smeg, the whole thing was creepy! “He’s off to get Hol – Dr. Holly.”

“Oh.” Dwayne tilted his head a bit, and grinned. Without the Cat teeth, it didn’t really work. “You aren’t going to get anywhere with him, man! He’d jump off a cliff if the hospital policies said he had to.”

At this, not-Rimmer sat up. “No, he wouldn’t. He’s gone a bit nutty. Ever since he was accidentally locked in with 'Bonesucker' Jameson for three hours, he’s gone off the deep end, if you’ll pardon my phrasing. If the rule-book said to jump off a cliff, he’d do it, but he’d take an umbrella with him. Keep your facts straight, especially around Lister. He’s still learning the ropes, and you don’t want to confuse him.”

Dwayne scowled at him, hopped on his bunk, and started another nap.

“…Wasn’t he just asleep?” Lister asked, mentally skipping over the Holly information. So Holly had gone senile in this universe. Not computer senile, but something close to it. He’d have to see for himself how much, but it was nice to know that Holly would be kind of familiar. Maybe he’d have a chance with him. Maybe.

“Yes. The little blighter takes cat-naps,” Not-Rimmer spat the word out like it was poison. “Every other minute. If he’s not sleeping, he’s preening or eating. Degenerate.”

“Ah. Right. I should’ve known. Cat does that a lot.”

“Cat?” Rimmer waved his hand at Dwayne. “Didn’t you call him that earlier today?”

Oops. He hadn’t meant to say that. “Yeah, Cat. I knew him on the Red Dwarf. He doesn’t nap as much these days, but you should’ve seen him back when we first found him.” He stopped. That had been too much information. Way too much. Smeg.

Rimmer put his finger on his chin for a second, considering this. “We?”

Lister told himself not to say too much. “Yeah. Me and Rimmer. It’s been barely an hour after I came out of stasis, and then we found the Cat. Red Dwarf’s a huge ship, you know. I’m amazed that we even ran into each other.” Damn it. That was too much information again.

Rimmer scrunched his brow. This would take more than his usual finger-on-chin ponder. Right. Start with the basics. “Stasis?”

Lister crossed his arms. “I’m not doing this, Rimmer.”

“What? Explaining? Why not, squire?”

“I’m getting out of here. Some way or another. Red Dwarf was not a dream. It was real. This has to be an alternate reality, or something like that. I’ll bet that Kryten’s figuring out how to use the matter-paddle to jump between dimensions right now, or that they’re searching for the time-hole I must have fallen through. I’ll be home in a week. Or two. Last time it took us nearly a month to get Kryters and Rimmer back from that Backwards reality. I’m not going to mess up whatever reality I’m in now with my knowledge.” Lister looked not-Rimmer straight in the eyes. He hadn’t meant to say all of that, but it had been building up ever since he had gotten here. It felt kind of nice to tell someone about his adventures, even if they’d never be believed.

There was no way that this was his reality. He had not dreamt up Red Dwarf. Not a chance. Maybe this was a despair squid hallucination. Well, whatever it was, it would not work on Dave Lister. No-siree.

Not-Rimmer looked straight back into those brown eyes and wondered what he could believe. He had seen Lister in a coma ever since he had shared rooms with him. Then again, Lister seemed completely convinced that he was telling the truth. He weighed the options, than went with the one that made the most sense: Lister was a nutter. A nice one, but still a nutter.

What a pity. He’d have to stay here, of course, but that was a good thing.

Lister sighed. He knew what Rimmer would believe. Back when the Inquisitor had attacked, Rimmer had taken in his evidence, but hadn’t tried to help at all. Only after he had been put in mortal danger had he helped Lister and Kryten. This Rimmer was different, but not enough.

“You don’t believe me.” He stated the truth, but knew that not-Rimmer would say he was lying. Whatever not-Rimmer believed, he’d try to convince Lister that he believed him.

“No, I do-“ Lister glared.

“Yer lying, Rimmer. Give it up.”

Just as Rimmer was about to reply, Dr. Holly and Dr. Kryten entered the room.

---